When I was on Bottom Feeder this was the covering letter I e-mailed with my CV:
Subject: THIS E-MAIL IS A WASTE OF TIMEWell I got this strange e-mail:
Hello my name is Robert. At the moment I am unemployed and after a certain amount of time on benefit they send you on a soul destroying course in the hopes of depressing you back to work. I am on such a course at the moment and for the second part of the course we have to come in and “do job search” all day and prove we have at least applied for 5 job. Consequentially a lot of useless e-mails get sent out and I am afraid this is one of them. ):
If you found this e-mail annoying and a waste of your time please feel free to let “Kennedy Scott Ltd” know (a strange company, made to inflict misery on already miserable life’s, who would work for a company like that ?). Their e-mail is: email@example.com
I won’t thank you for your time as I am sorry I wasted it but they won’t let me just die in peace, man this is depressing.
You are a geniusStrange.
My cap is doffed and I want to thank you for making the task of sifting through a hundred crap emails and CVs from chefs who think they might want to colour-in instead of cook slightly less unbearable.
We don't need a web designer now. But we might in a bit.
Will you pester me if you're still looking for a job later in the year?
But I hope you won't have to because, to help, I've sent this little piece of greatness to everyone in the industry I know and I've asked them to send it around to everyone they know... I think it will spread like a bout chicken pox in a nudist camp.
And you might get a job.
That's if you really want one - if you don't then sorry, I was just trying to help.