fear of (a) average mind

you are human, no thing you do is wrong

all hellow's eve #

click for biggerFook ya shitepod, I wanna 1 of these (well 1 of me e-mails is purevil@Hellokitty.com). I knew that kitty was a witch, (title of site) (:

i fell in love with HK when i first read this story:
Three (Hello Kitty obsessed) triad gangsters kidnapped, brutally tortured and beat a young woman for one month until she died. Then they dismembered and cooked the body, threw most of it out with the trash, fed legs and arms to stray dogs and hid the skull inside the head of a giant-sized Hello Kitty doll. BEEP.

Samhain #

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this beautiful pic was made by the very talented sheispretty

all ya witches and ghouls have a happy drunken night

Whoop De Fuckin' Doo #

B-Day today…. Yay. ):

I love apples (not those bloody PC thingy’s though) #

I adopted an apple (:

me and you #

Us, and them
And after all we’re only ordinary men
Me, and you
God only knows it’s not what we would choose to do
Forward he cried from the rear
And the front rank died
And the general sat and the lines on the map
Moved from side to side
Black and blue
And who knows which is which and who is who
Up and down
And in the end it’s only round and round
Haven’t you heard it’s a battle of words
The poster bearer cried
Listen son, said the man with the gun
There’s room for you inside

I mean, they’re not gonna kill ya, so if you give ’em a quick short,
Sharp, shock, they won’t do it again. dig it? I mean he get off
Lightly, ’coz I would’ve given him a thrashing - I only hit him once!
It was only a difference of opinion, but really...i mean good manners
Don’t cost nothing do they, eh?

Down and out
It can’t be helped but there’s a lot of it about
With, without
And who’ll deny it’s what the fighting’s all about?
Out of the way, it’s a busy day
I’ve got things on my mind
For the want of the price of tea and a slice
The old man died

I am going to scream #

I am going to scream tomorrow, I will record it on my SOGAO SG-908. I love my SOGAO SG-908 it’s such a cool recorder. Like a walkman but with a built-in mic and speaker. I have a mini-disk with a £70 mic but it ain’t shit compared to me SOGAO SG-908. So simple, big red record button. Record to tape (wow tape, can you believe it). It’s soooo lo-fi. (I saw the fog last night…. It was glowing) a piece of driftwood… where’s the fog now ?? the lights went out… bang bang bang… hello… DAN!!!

the fly room #

When I first became homeless in Liverpool i hooked up with a crazy looking bruiser, big strong fucker with long red hair, called Michele Flannery. Top Chap. Well we ended with a dodgy Landlord, fookin’ well dodgy. We used to cruse around Liverpool at night with him in his car stealing paving-stones so he could sell um. We once did a bit of arson for him, there was a derelict house next to his and he wanted to buy the land but he didn’t want to pay for demolition. So we set fire to it and the fire-brigade came round, put it out but of course now it was unsafe so the Liverpool Council had to flatten it… job done.

Well you can see how he used us but we got to live in a lot of his flats all over Liverpool and I got a job as a spark with him. He used to get stuff from the builders yard and pay with a bouncing check, he had no intention of paying, crazy.

We ended up in Kremlin Drive. A big four storey house that we were doing up and me and Flannery live on the top storey, which was kind of liveable. The rest of the floors were just a building site really. In the middle of doing this house up the landlord went bankrupt (well it had to happen eventually). All of his properties came into the possession of Liverpool Council. As me and Flannery were living in the house at the time (housing benefit and everything) we became what is called “legal squatters”. We were so stupid, we could of done the place up, kept our heads down in the neighbourhood and we would properly own the house now (I think if you squat a place for 12 years it becomes yours) but you got to remember I was just out of boarding school, not very “streetwise”. Didn’t know fook all bout squatting and doing a place up. We lived like animals really.

The house had no electric (didn’t know how to get it turned on). We had water but it was just a pipe in the downstairs hallway and to turn it on we had to go down to the street in front of the house, lift a little 6”x6” manhole cover, reach down, turn a tap and let it fill a tub. The house still had scaffolding on the front, the front door was nailed shut and we used to use the scaffolding to get in and out the third floor window (I could get from the top floor to the street in about 2 seconds, lots of fun). When we were boarded we used to go downstairs and knock down a few walls, there is nothing better for getting rid of anger than kicking down a brick wall. Once in the basement we kicked a hole into next doors basement. Had I look in there and I found a old four-poster bed, took it upstairs piece by piece (you’d be surprised how many pieces they break down into). Living in a squat with a fuck off big four-poster bed, nice. As the house looked derelict (no lights) people used to come in for a look, me and Mike had weapons. Mike had a crowbar, I had a pike (long, heavy iron bar). People used to run a mile after seeing me and Mike running at them half naked waving iron bars all over the place.

There were fireplaces in the house (thankfully the chimneys worked) so we had heat. Me and Mike used to throw thing on the fire to make different coloured flames, as many as we could (apparently an alchemist can make any coloured flame). One time we went out and we left the fire smouldering. I came back about 2 o’clock to find the top floor full of smoke. Some wood had fallen out of the fire and burned a hole though the floorboards and lit the insulation (I thought that was fireproof, fookin’ cheap Landlord) in-between the floor and the downstairs ceiling, what a fucking scary type fire, sort of smouldering. It had travelled under the wall into the next room. OK this is what I did, first I had to make holes in the floor so I could get to the fire, enter trusted pike. Fast as you like I started making holes in the floorboards, rise the pike and bring it down super hard. Following the route of the fire had to make loads of holes (2 am remember). OK that done… where’s the water, yep you know it, the pipe. I had to run down 3 flights of stair out into the street, stick me hand down a manhole (the neighbour came out shouting bout all the noise, told him the fucking house was on fire and that shut the cunt up), turn the water on. Run in the house, grab a bowl of water run upstairs and empty it down the holes I made. Had to do this about 20 times, up and down the stairs. Eventually I got the fucker out, all wide eyed and shaking. The whole top floor was soaked (had to be safe) and the floor below was dripping for days. Never left the fire smouldering after that.

When we got dole we’d go out clubin’, spend all our money and lived the rest of the 2 weeks on bread. We found a bread factory in Kensington which used throw out loads of bread in a skip outside the factory. Most of it was past the “sell by date”, still eatable though. Some of it was stuff like bread that was cut wrong, packaged wrong or returned orders. The security guard was a nice chap and at night didn’t mind us diving into the skips. I think he let people from all over Liverpool raid the skips (UK was friendly in those days). Me and Mike really didn’t buy food we just used to go on midnight raids on the bread factory (we lived on so much bread our shit actually became white). Not just bread by the way. Crumpets (be careful as these go moulded quick), sesame seed buns, cakes (yummy), you know anything a bakery makes. One time we found a massive box of jam donuts, after a few week living on jam donuts we got a bit sick of them and used to throw them at people walking past the house.

We had pets too. A cat called Tessa and a dog called Sony. Didn’t feed Tessa as she just when out and fed herself (cats can do that). She wasn’t really our cat more like she just happened to come back to ours to sleep. Found Tessa dead on bonfire night once, so I put her on the fire. Seemed the right thing to do. Someone was swinging round a melting plastic pipe that night and a drop of boiling hot plastic landed on my arm, scared for life, like Tessa wanted to write her mark on me, ACE cat. Sony, on the other hand, was a mad dog. I got him from a scally mate I used to know from school, just used to spend his time robbing cars and trashing them, proper scally car theft. One day he came round with something stuffed up his jumper, said “got a prezzy for ya” and pulled out a German Shepard puppy. Had just robbed him from someone’s backyard, stole a car and came to mine, mad bastard. That’s how Sony came into my life (name after me Walkman, full name: Sony Walkman WM-33). Big bag of dried dog food (we had the water) and he was sorted but he used to eat everything else anyway. I once found a bean bag with little polystyrene “beads” in it, I know this coz I came back one day and the whole floor was covered in them, never really did get rid of them. When we left the house Sony was left in there, told a friend and she phoned the RSPCA and they came and got him. Him off on a new adventure. No worried bout him getting put down as he was a beautiful German Shepard (big paws). Best of breed and all that. He wouldn’t have spent more than a week in the RSPCA pound, no worries. What a strange start for a dog, from a housing estate wanker to a squat with 2 metal-heads, a pretty free life (I never once put a lead on him), to a pound to ??? He must have had an ACE personality.

Well after all that story you may be asking about the strange title of this post and what the fook any of this has to do with that, well… you may remember I told of our only water being the pipe. Where was our toilet ???
This was “The Fly Room”.

Typical English front room, bay windows, little cubby holes for ya TV and shit. The cubby hole nearest to the street had two floorboards missing leading into the basement. This was our toilet. For bout 3 years we just squatted over this (Indian toilet style) and shit into the basement. Had a paperback, read a page then wipe ya arse with it (got through a lot of books that way). It was a fucker in the middle of the night walking down from the top floor with a candle for a shit, well scary.

The walls of this room were painted white but they were black… with flies, that’s right, they covered the walls so much they were black. The floor was an inch thick with dead flies. You had to walk into that room all ninja like so as not to disturb them, if you did the air would be solid flies. It was impossible, after the first year, to go into the basement. We used to push people into the room and make loads of noise, it freaked the fuck out of them. It’s strange doing a shit with about a million eyes watching you, even weirder in candlelight.

We eventually left Kremlin Drive and got rooms in the Liverpool YMCA. After bout 5 months I went back to check it out, no live flies. When into the basement for a look. Under our “toilet” was a electric meter box, well I think there was. On top of it was a 3 meter high pale (remember the bread) mountain of rock hard shit. Could of won the Turner Prize. Damp bare bricks, the floor was uneven, slippery and felt like soil (compacted flies I suspect). Was like something out of a horror film. A mountain shaped pile of shit the size of a fully grown man, it’s a sight to behold I can tell ya.

So if ya live in Kremlin Drive, Liverpool and ya house has a funny smell and flies seem to be attracted to your front room, I apologize. BEEP.
Haven’t seen Mike for years, I heard recently he is back in the Liverpool YMCA. If ya see him there, say elo from Johnie Oneball (:

Beer is Gear #

i like beer, i like bikin'
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is this the best bike in the world ?

Kick the pregnant #

<mad> Just been to the shop and on the way is a dodge zebra-crossing right next to a left turn. Well everyone round here knows it’s dodgy and takes care to look every direction before crossing but what did a couple of “housing estate slappers” do. Push their prams out into the crossing, “that’ll stop the cars”. Well one car turning slammed on the breaks and another car (with a lovely big rottweiler type doggy in the back, gave me a smile (: ) nearly slammed into that, HAHA big shouts all around. Yep that’s the best way to stop a car, slam your first born into it. I’ve had it myself, bombing down a hill on me bike and some silly girl slams out her pram (not even at crossing most of the time). Well if I ran it over I would stop, go back and ride back and forth on her baby until it’s just a fuckin’ red smug on the road….. Arrrgh…. I’m OK now.

Another time just walking oot me door and this large Muslim lady slams her pram around me and blocks my way sort of trapping me in a triangle between her, her baby and the wall, WTF… she was trying to sell me some piece of crap shite ring, I dun know she bought it for 10p round the corner. Silly cow, I nearly decked her. I’ve seen her since “hassling” people on Camden High Street

Another Camden High Street regular is a smart looking black guy in a car. He sits by the side of the road with the window down and calls “suckers” over and starts some crap bout how he ordered this posh watch and they sent him two and would you (the sucker) like to buy the other one. He been doing it all the time I’ve lived in Camden. The first time I saw him was when he tried it on me. I was homeless at the time but I didn’t look it (didn’t have that homeless chic) and when I told him this ,after listening to his story, his face looked shocked, as if his “rich sucker radar” wasn’t working. Silly man, he’s been doing it for ages now. I thought he be rich now living on a island somewhere, but no I still see him. DUDE if ya scam aint makin’ you rich, stop doing it. </mad>

A bag full of water #

The Japanese in London are so beautiful, they fill our town with such sunshine.

There is a place in Regent’s Park I like to sit (the corner of the football pitches, top of the zoo, just around from the fountain). A strange little crescent of grass with a few trees in, people walk right past and don’t even see you and it was from this hidey-hole I fell in love with a strange Oriental lady. 3 autumns ago I first saw her walking her dog (and get this) she had a bag of water. Much like the bags you get a fish in from the fair. What was this bag for ?? Well she stopped opened the bag and let her dog drink from it, it was at that moment I fell in love with her. How strange to carry a “bag” of water for your dog. I used to just cup my hand and squirt water from my bike bottle into it and my dog would drink from my hand. I imagine other people would carry some kind of bottle and dish thing but I can’t imagine anyone thinking of a bag of water… a genuine different soul, how could I not but fall in love with her ?

Saw her nearly every day (well I was on the dole and I didn’t have anything better to do than sit in the park and read a book). I went a bit mad and well one night I made a wooden sign (a stake and 2 bits of skirting board which together just happened to be A4 in size) on it a printed piece of paper: “I think you are beautiful”. Went to the park that night (3 am) and stuck it in the place I sit, didn’t go back for a couple of days, she must of seen it as every day she walked by this place. It also appealed to me to have sign in the park that said “I think you are beautiful” that random people would see (did it change any lives ?). What would you do if you came upon such a sign ?

That was about 3 years ago. Well I saw her again today, I went to the park to “true” my racer wheel and in the middle of such a Zen operation who should flitter past but my beautiful strange Oriental lady (She is the beauty of a seagull flying out to sea, a leaf in love with the wind and early evening autumn sun). She spotted me first, I looked up and there she was, all nervous and calling her dog. I could but only smile. This has been going on now for nearly 4 years, had she missed me. She seemed to be smiling (all looking over in my direction)… it’s a shame I’m so different now.

bottom feeders 2 #

Well it seem it’s time again for me to mix with the humans. If you read bottom feeders 1 and waiting for a trigger you will know it’s time for the second course (Gov send you on these “New Deal” courses after a certain amount of time on the dole), not 6 weeks but 13. First day today and they give some fucking English and maths test, fuck off, I aint been in school for years and I aint bout to start doing tests. I just ticked any old box not even looking at the questions. The room… heater and one of those plugin air freshener, stuck in a room with a load of inbred dumb cunts and a horrible environment for 13 week. Maybe it’s time to take up stabbing, killing and robbing, at least it’s in the fresh air and I can work to my own hours. I think it’s really bad for you to have to shut down your brain all the time. It gets really bad listening to the dumb fucker talk, it saps the intelligence out of you. I’ll keep you posted of all the shit I see.    

Willow's Song #

Heigh ho ! Who is there ?
No one but me, my dear.
Please come say, How do ?
The things I'll give to you.
By stroke as gentle as a feather
I'll catch a rainbow from the sky
And tie the ends together.
Heigh ho ! I am here
Am I not young and fair ?
Please come say, How do ?
The things I'll show to you.
Would you have a wond'rous sight
The midday sun at midnight ?
Fair maid, white and red,
Comb you smooth and stroke your head
How a maid can milk a bull !
And every stroke a bucketful.

you aint pressin' my buttons #

<geek> As you can see all my “blog bling” has gone from the right hand side… or has it ?? well there is a crap button and pressing that will bring them all back, clever ah !! when I started this blog I wanted just a nice elegant txt blog, no distractions and well I got a bit obsessed with sidebar toys, I was looking at peoples sidebar toys instead of their blogs, stooped. So I hid um, that felt good. How did I do it ? Well if ya click on the crap button you will see that all the buttons have a border around them. Well that’s just a table with 1 cell and that 1 cell has a border and all the buttons are inside that. So I just put the table in a div and gave it a id (of course I called it crap HEHE!!):
<div id=”crap”>

All the buttons and crap go here…

Here’s the javascript:
<script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript">

function flip(id){
if(document.getElementById){var el=document.getElementById(id);
el.style.display=(el.style.display=='inline') ? 'none':'inline';}

Now the link to toggle the div display:
<a onclick="flip('crap')" href="#SideBar_Crap_Display">CRAP</a>
I found you have to press the crap button twice to get it to work if you have not already set the div state. So in your CSS put the line:
Easy. By the way hope you like the new styles, I like the green and black 1 (all matrix like) looks nicer if ye got the old OCR A Extended installed on ya PC. (: </geek>

There’s something bad in Somers Town #

<funny> HAHA!! More funny, just been for a bike ride and a saw a moped pizza delivery lad… walking, His moped must have been nicked. Walking down the street, pizza “hot bag” in hand, thunder face, he’s having a bad night. I think a moped gets nicked every 1000th of a second in the London.

He was coming from the direction of the Somers Town Estate, OH NO!! it’s such a dodge estate (when the gov brought in curfews for teenagers in London this is the first place they did it). The kidz put ropes across the roads and pull them up at cyclists and rob them, I ride through there all the time and I always keep an eye out for rope on the road (I’m a crazy looking fucker though and that may help, HEHE!!). This is a Somers Town Estate story…
A guy gets a taxi from Euston Station (just next door to the estate) and the taxi driver takes him into Somers Town, robs him and kicks him out on the estate. The guy, all shook up, flags down a car full of “kidz” for help (his second mistake) and they get out with baseball bats and beat the crap out of him, talk bout a bad day…. AHHHH! Life in the big smoke (: </funny>