Hx (Report from the End / day 2) #
i made a 21yo Romania girl cry today. i'm not proud of it, in fact i think it may have been one of the worst things i have ever done. i brought one of her worlds crashing into the other. It had quite an effect on me to, you see i was falling in love with her. She did not want to be loved and i did not want to love her. i cut off the limb before it got bad. As you can see from the post below i am not in the best health, mental or physical. Chatting to a charismatic and intelligent woman may not be the best place for me to be. i would very much like to go back to my cold hate, it is a wonderful, safe, place (:
i have only met one "internet friend" and i sort of hid the whole night under my hood, lurking and grunting. i forget that all the words out there are people, who have needs and who can be damaged. A friend who knows you is immune, a new friend is not.
People would tell me to "grow a pair" but it is not me. i am drained, i can not think hash thoughts, i have become gentle. Tomorrow i will be back to hate, but for today, let me have it.
Mental state:
i am thinking of burning my flat down and traveling around your world.
i have only met one "internet friend" and i sort of hid the whole night under my hood, lurking and grunting. i forget that all the words out there are people, who have needs and who can be damaged. A friend who knows you is immune, a new friend is not.
People would tell me to "grow a pair" but it is not me. i am drained, i can not think hash thoughts, i have become gentle. Tomorrow i will be back to hate, but for today, let me have it.
Mental state:
i am thinking of burning my flat down and traveling around your world.
Labels: Hoax Hawks
