fear of (a) average mind

you are human, no thing you do is wrong

Publish Draft 2: #

kill draft (never to be seen)
the wind has started knocking at my door

A seagull flies by my window with its cry
A seagull flies by my window with its cry, my life is shite compared to that cry.

i could take a pic of the window but let me try and describe it...

the light... it is the nothing, suicide light. it is nether beautiful or horrid, it just is, is is the light of nature, i doesn't care about how beautiful you think you are, it just gets on with being

Where i lay my head down
My last few posts here have been quite tame, dwelling on the technical, safe. i have been running away from the feelings of last Christmas, you see, i spent last Christmas planing to kill a human.

i don't read letters anymore

i have never been comfortable

Television in the UK is now only for the people to stupid to use a computer

Privacy International STFU
Fuck in Hell, what a bunch of fucking cunts. We all know Google maps is the best, they just do it right, you can embed Google maps in your web-site, overlay your own graphic on it and you have an amazing resource.

a friend died outside my front door today
A poem, a flame, a song, once they are used, they are all gone.

The spider inside me
Your deathbed will be surrounded by friends & family, you are received. Mine is concrete, in a London back ally, drunk and alone, full of fear.

Don't call the police if i kill myself
It's funny but i don't think i have ever really liked anyone i have every met,

i think it was about age 5 i realized i was surrounded with humans and they were useless

i was absolutely born alone, i have lived on this Earth alone and i shall die alone, at this moment i don't cry as i write this, i am not alive.

, i made friends to not appear weird.

there is a bucket full of shit in my bathroom
the toilet in there blocked and had to scoop it out with a plastic margarine container into the mop bucket (my hand wrapped in a Safeway bag). it got blacked from the sick i pored into that bucket as i has one of mu belly-ache nights, on some times my stomach decides to rip it's self apart, puking it the only relief, and not some.

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