fear of (a) average mind

you are human, no thing you do is wrong

Society is pushing me towards a killing (waiting for a trigger) #

i was born a human. i have been on the here 38 years now. i don't like humans. i have moved away from you. i drink in my flat, i can not afford to be a alcoholic so i am just a drunk (slower death). i was born in England and i use what society has in this place to stay as far away from humans as i can. i am unemployed, the government in England gives you money to live if you are unemployed, it is called welfare. i am on welfare. When my dole comes i buy drink, i drink it till it runs out then i wait for my next dole check so i can buy drink (it comes every 2 weeks).

Society is around me and i function as best i can within it. i do not mug people, i do not rape people, i do not kill old ladies for their pension. Like all humans i have a nasty side and i have a nice side. i tend more toward my nice side. i hold open doors for people, if i see a bike locked to a lamppost that has fallen down i will stop my bike and pick it up. i help my neighbor carry her shopping up the stairs. i am sure you can see where this is going. Yes i am the nice neighbor who just snaps ("he was such a nice boy, it is hard to believe"). i understand this about myself and i stay in my flat quietly drinking myself to death.

i died a long time ago and the only one who cries my passing is me. i move now only on instinct.

Now the government in England has decided that the people on welfare have to go on 13 week courses (i am forced for the money i need to buy drink into the presence of humans). OK i do this (it is uncomfortable but i may be able to do it). Things however are getting bad.

((i can not write right now, tomorrow maybe))

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i like this #