fear of (a) average mind

you are human, no thing you do is wrong

Reactions to a cover letter #

OK i am on Bottom feeders again, i not feeling so bad, it's gets me to bike ride everyday, on the way home is a big hill, OK that is me looking for the positive.

i am still using the same cover letter, recap:

Hello my name is Robert. At the moment I am unemployed and after a certain amount of time on benefit they send you on a soul destroying course in the hopes of depressing you back to work. I am on such a course at the moment and for the first part of the course we have to come in and “do job search” all day and prove we have at least applied for 5 job. Consequentially a lot of useless e-mails get sent out and I am afraid this is one of them.

If you found this e-mail annoying and a waste of your time please feel free to let “A4e” know (a strange company, made to inflict misery on already miserable lives, who would work for a company like that ?).

I won’t thank you for your time as I am sorry I wasted it but they won’t let me just die in peace, man this is depressing.

CV attached.
i have been getting a few different reactions to this cover letter.

Reaction one
Hi Robert,

You're a legend and whilst you did waste my time, your mail made me and my colleague laugh...So, in return I've attached a doc that I'm sure you'll enjoy.

Take care man...rage against the machine
This was the best reaction so far, they actually sent me a PDF called "reasons for Cameras on Mobile Phone" which was full of pix of naked ladies, HAHA cool. Apply for a job, get porn.

Reaction two
Hi Robert,

Sorry but we don’t have any roles suitable for you at the moment – have you considered a career in comedy?

Your cover letter had a spattering of a young Jack Dee…

All the best and Good luck!

This one made me smile to, not nasty, i think i made him smile, as i find myself in this shit, that is all i can ask for.

Reaction three
Hi Robert
I am sorry that things are so depressing for you and they are making you do something you so obviously don't want to do.
I wish you the best of luck in the future and I hope that you will one day find your perfect job as you obviously have some good skills under your belt.
Kind regards
The first female to react, seems concerned, still nice.

Reaction four

If this is a joke, then stop it, as it actually does waste my time reading it, not that it probably bothers you. However, looking at your cv it seems that you do have a lot of computer and design skills. If you applied these in the right way there shouldn't be a reason you can't find work in this field. I expect thought that this is more of an attitude issue.


Simon Pilkington
Recruitment Consultant
BetRecruit (shite web-site)
So lets recap, we have had: the cool guy, comedy guy, concerned girl, now we get to the cunt. First let me point out he actually wasted his time to e-mail me to tell me i wasted his time, OMG what a twat. Can you imagine working for this guy, BetRecruit i feel sorry for everybody there. "then stop it" who the fuck does this wanker think he is. Simon Pilkington you are nominated as the biggest cunt i have come into contact with recently, and i'm on a course at A4e, those cunts are worms beyond belief. Where is your god now ?

Reaction five
Hi Robert,

That's the funniest thing I've read for a while. At least you've got a
sense of humour. If I have anything available I'll give you a call.

I recruit for Beds, Oxon, Bucks, Berks.

Many thanks

Another nice one, that i can make someone smile somewhere, my job is done (:

Reaction six
Hi Robert
whilst your email made me laugh, the truth is that you obviously need to get some employment of any kind just to break your depression, and the cycle you find yourself in.
Some tips ( if your vaguely interested)
Work on your CV, capital letters etc and for someone of your age and experience a single side of A4 just doesn't cut it.
Your a better person than that.
that's the sort of rubbish I get everyday from foreign applicants who don't even know what job they are applying for.
You can do many more things with computers than I can ever imagine doing. sell yourself. Sell the brand 'Robert Booth Hudson'
infact technically you have all the skills I was looking for when I posted this job. presented in a professional way, and with more back ground included I would have interviewed you.
As an employee you would have needed to bring some oomph to the office, not dragged everyone down!
Do you do volunteer work? do you have hobbies? a family? a dog?
what do you fill your days with?
these things are important to prospective employers, ( and over burden tax payers)
I wish you luck in the future Robert, but you are in control of your destiny.
Carpe Diem my friend, Carpe Diem.
Chi Chi
i can't even be bothered to blog how much i hate humans at this point, RAGE ?
i had thoughts of a full blog post raging about how i never wanted to seize any day, but why bother, the only cunts who will read it are humans.
eh, he was nice tho, made me smile (:

i find it a bit funny that all these people think i actually want a job. i was thinking of changing the line "but they won’t let me just die in peace" to "but they won’t let me just drink myself to death in my scummy flat in peace", i don't know, is that to honest ?

i may add a link to this post in the cover letter, just for fun, Or i may just e-mail this post/link to those who reacted, seems a better option (:

i will *UPDATE* as i receive.

Labels: , , , , ,