fear of (a) average mind

you are human, no thing you do is wrong

The edge of paint #

“Any damage you see in my eye is because of love” it took her a couple of seconds to realize what he just said. It pissed her off how he did that. In the middle of crap drop a profound statement like that. Something she could love then he was back to himself, talking bout nothing. Is there anything in there she could. If there was why did she find herself ditching him, fuck it he was a prick that’s why. She didn’t know in a hour 2 days/a week he would paint a picture that would cause her death.

Not an amicable end #

Her steel soul as she bites into me vibrates with the bounty she has caught, if ever she needed to be loved it was now, could that i want her for myself, alone and only she knows why. If she didn’t want me to talk or see her again why didn’t she just tell me instead of using so excuse of her and Remie talking bout it, what could she mean do she want something from me, fuck her, maybe this is not a good place, Helen i thought he was the one ? Maybe you need me ?

sea fire #

i love you as much as love to watch the dying embers
on the beach
the sea is singing to me of the days end
thoughts of comfort wash upon me and i wish i was in your hands and arms
i'm lost now to the sea
do you think it cries for the love i once gave it??

passing through #

I found i can go through stuff. Say a wall, if you can get 1 molecule of your nail under its reality you can peel it back and push your hand in. Cupping your hands you can draw them apart and wipe a hole, climb in and let it snap shut behind you and you’re inside. Walls, metal, trees, you can go through anything, even water. In water you don’t even get wet coz you’re not really in the water, only its reality.

i see youI’ve already robbed a bank. It was very hard as you can’t go through things that are next to each other. So when the outside brick wall of the bank came into contact with the metal of the safe i had to go through the whole “nail, peel, wipe” thing on the safe metal. This aint easy coz i couldn’t see a thing, my eyes were inside the wall see. Trying to slip ya nail under a reality 1 molecule thick aint easy with ya eyes shut. Also there is the breathing, or the lack of it. I had to go back out a few time to get air. I had to go out face first to see if it was clear, i didn’t get seen. I couldn’t just pop me head out and take a breath coz my lungs would still be in the wall, had to get fully out.

You have to be careful that what you are travailing through is “pure”. If say you are walking along quite happy through a tree and it has a nail inside it, that nail will rip into you organs and through your body. You aint peeled into the reality of that nail see. I found this out the hard way, i will miss the tip of me little finger. It seems to work OK with things like a brick wall, the brick and cement are nearly the same stuff so, although there is a drag, you can push through. I think it just rips with things that are really different, wood & metal, water & brick. Hey i don’t make the rules, i wonder if i do it for a long time will get “stronger” and be able to just push through different materials without the peeling ?

If i did it for so long would my reality become less as i become more “gaseous”. I’ve already noticed the automatic doors in the super-market don’t open for me anymore. Am i becoming less on the Earth, say immaterial ? On the bus i like to put my hand through the window, it freaks people out.

inside youOne of the best times i had was when i got inside fire, it was pure luck i managed to peel it, don’t think i will be able to do that again. It was a massive bonfire night street fire and I was throwing a twig on the fire and a flame jumped out and clipped my nail just right. The hole formed and i plunged my hands in quick as ya like, made the hole bigger and dived right in (it was hot ya know holding the hole open).
I have always suspected that fire is just a flame shaped porthole into another world where everything is burned clean, crime, hate, embarrassment, ignorance… all burned till all the is left is a world where just you are happy. It is hot to us coz we are not clean enough to be in that world, a sort of defence mechanism.
Well it is nice but it’s not all that. I was the same feeling i had as when i was a queen bee. I used to work on “Liverpool City Farm” (in a graveyard between Walton Prison and an old Victorian workhouse, very surreal), me and 2 other mate. We just used to build fences and get stoned all day in the graveyard, there were actually graves of pirates in there and there was one grave with the reason of death as “killed by the Engine of Mess” wtf.
Anyway the owner of the farm kept bees in those nice bee hives. Every now and again Queen Bees decide to go on walkabout. As you can imagine the rest of her crew will follow (swarm). Sometime they go for mile or sometimes they swam up the nearest tree, they did this. Up the tree popped the Boss with us following to lend support like. He had a sort of net on a stick (proper bee keeping equipment) which you are meant to just hook the Queen with and take her back to the hive, the lads will follow. Well you got to do this all delicate like as shacking her up would be bad news, attack mode for the lads, eek. So the boss couldn’t jump down from the tree and asked us if one of us would take “the swarm” back to the hive. Grezza and Jerry bottled out, me being stupid or stoned sez I’ll do it.
This was one of the most fookin amazing things i ever did do. Here i was walking along all Ninja like with a swarm around me, them not stinging me, i was effectively the Queen Bee. I felt invincible, no human on the Earth could have got near me…. MWHAHAHAHAHAHA *cough*. Having a swarm is like having armour 20 feet wide, fookin ACE. They were crawling all over me, my face, my hands and i didn’t get 1 sting. They knew i didn’t want to harm the Queen, just taking her home.
That’s what it felt like in fire, protected. A coat of flames is a beautiful thing, wearing fire and not getting burned can be a titillating experience, try it, it’s fun.

I may stop peeling (it is addictive) as i think i am sinking into the pavement. As i walk along the street the floor feels spongy, as if my feet are absorbed into the paving stones. No one has noticed but who the fuck looks at peoples feet ??

beeee happy #

click for biggeri make sticker of this pic and stick um on lamp-posts all over London...

yep it's me (:

FeedPing.com #

<geek> Spread your RSS feed with www.feedping.com made by matteo and his mate Joey (matteo helped form deviantART, so you know it’s quality). Just input ya RSS feed and it submitted to… well just see. It’s free anyway, seems like a good service (: </geek>

the night of the hunter #

<review> I suppose it’s wouldn’t be to hard to make a “surreal” movie, just have a lot of characters with funny names doing silly things, see Lynch / Cronenberg. Like the monkeys who just rolled around on canvas in paint, slam it in an art-gallery and everyone calls it the next big thing. I watched Eraserhead, got bored. I like Tetsuo, that strange.

One film i really do like is “The Night of the Hunter”, now this is a strange film and i don’t even think it was meant to be. Directed by bad-boy Charles Laughton, this is the only film he directed. Maybe because he saw how fooked up this film was and didn’t want to make another one because he didn’t want humans to see what was inside his mind.
NOTH
Story:
Serial killer (uses god to justify killing) finds out about hidden cash of a cell-mate, when he gets out goes to the wife and 2 kids. Moves in and tries to find out where the money is. I won’t say more as it’s not really about the story, it’s more about the style.
NOTH
The Serial killer is played by Robert Mitchum (top chap, he purposed to his wife by asking her if she wanted to fart through silk for the rest of her life). Apparently Mr Laughton hates kids and Mr Mitchum had to direct the kids through most of the film (well kids can be twats to). There was a Richard Chamberlain remake, avoid at all costs.
NOTH
When i used to take Acid in Liverpool i always liked the way it “kicked in”. To me it felt like i was doing backwards somersaults, lead by my mind. Like the Acid had grabbed the back of my head and started to flip me. There is a point in the film where, when i first saw it, my mind started to flip (yeah we know it’s not her singing). The film from that point gets really strange (damm i gotta watch that bit now…. Hang on… back now).
NOTH
If you find this film in your way, watch it, it’s good (: </review>

Lingo Slinger #

nice new Firefox plugin here , "Blogger Web Comments". See what peeps have blogged about the site you is on. quite fun.

one of the best blog i regularly read is the wonderful blog of Lingo Slinger, she well funny (and a bit serious sometimes). go check her out (:

you may see this comment thing pop up...

how to eat grass #

posted from flickr
how to eat grass Originally uploaded by John Le Fucker.
of the 37 years i have been on this Earth, of all the humans i have meet in that time with all their "personalities", their "Oh aren't they just such a character" shit.

This is the only human i really like and i can predict will ever like, the only one who i belive has a unique personality.

Every other human i have ever met sez the same thing over and over again, after so many years it gets a wee bit boring. i can predict to myself nearly everything i hear and will ever hear. a violent human is not interesting.

i actualy like being in her presence as she always suprises me how nice she is, to me anyway, the silly girl actually likes me (:
i saw her once over the other side of the road (she not seen me) and i shouted her and stratght away she shouted "HELLO" without seeing who it was. i was struck by the fact that it didn't matter who had shouted her, she just reciprocated. Anyone else would have looked around (maybe to see if they even wanted to say hello). People are funny.

Who Be You ?? #

i find my instinct to survive a weakness, in it i can’t afford, least death, to be a smack-head, therefore the stage i must go though is missing. Why must this, which i am, survive, is not the way of the suicide more honest in its approach to life or could i be what i hate most? Who is it i talk to in this text, Why should i give a fuck what you, who are you to me that i write this, is it you i talk to, i have seen…No you have seen more than me, you in the time you are must be more than me and yet maybe just by the things in my mind i could be just more than you will ever hope in your mind you live in are to be. could i therefore ever… but i am weak. i find sometimes i can hate humanity to much, it is the bane of my life, in times like these i find i talk like a prick and my life i could not give what you…on i go again…

intimate friend #

Like a cancer, well what like a cancer. Cancer is a life all in itself, why is there no “save the cancer” campaign? It lives up to it’s full potential. It does what it was born to do, it doesn’t kill it’s own, just coz it feeds on the human we find it so abhorrent. Shouldn’t we admire its purity and purpose? Is there no more beautiful entity than that that fills it’s life with it’s full purpose? Can you find the fear to love cancer so much coz it spells your end and your relies from what i a mere human can give you, it gives you so much more. it must be your ultimate lover.
Do your body find out your sins and give you them back. Is that the cancer that eats its way through your body? It’s the closest thing you have to your greatest lover, can you ever take anyone else on, you are all consumed.

a nice bike ride #

The internet can be a scary place…    

dead human... again #

Nature doesn’t give one fucking shit about the tears of Madam Yoko Ono… yes

twice #

the devil saved my life with a knife, twice I’ve lived a life,
I’ve been a form I’ve been a bee, rejected me.
I have lived twice, every time I rent my soul.
I’m never bold, I live in cold.

last post #

If i write the words – at the moment of your death i will be there, i will be there, i just implanted that thought into your brain, does that not wind you up, the more of this you read the more i will be with you at the moment of your death. Of all the things that go through your mind, i will be 1 of them, does that not wind you up, why can’t you stop reading this. I’ve corrupting your last moment on this earth and you still read on, when you think of your god you will also think of me, does that make me your god ?

other worlds #

Maybe there are planets where all the life forms never see each other, they are planted in a big circle facing out, never to see any other like themselves, the planet is covered in these giant circles just under the horizon from each other.
Maybe they live forever in 1 place
Maybe there is a planet where everyone who is born lives forever and it gets so crowded they have to eat each other…

wolf out #

i have only 1 recurring dream, that of running with a wolf pack. i know what it feels like to run on all 4s, to see the ground slid beneath you, whatever the terrain. i have only twice felt like a wolf in my waking hours. Walking on the bog at the back of Borth a lamb looked at me with that fear off human they have. i was offended and i wanted to climb over the bard-wire and rip it to shreds. i was offended that it should fear me. Why did it fear me? Where did it get it’s information? i’m a nice chap. i wanted to kill it to death for it’s innocence. How dare it not understand evil in the world. Only later did i realise that these little creatures live through the night outside in the country, only at night in the country do you hear the world tell of all the evils it contains. The second time i was doing flat roof for an old gent who used to work for the foreign office…….

i step on paths #

As the city burns and the trees decide to release their smell i follow her, what else have i to do? she is reflected in the rain, that has hit the floor. if i stop following her i will probably never see her again, i like that thought in my head. tonight at 9:30 will i like what i see? when i close my eyes i can see her eyes and smell the hair she has on the top of her brain container. Do i love her? i like me laptop……….

Flickr Fun #

<geek> Hey look at this

Nice init…found it on the very wonderful MAKE.
here's how:
<iframe src="http://www.flickr.com/slideShow/index.gne? user_id=27039180@N00&group_id=humans" frameBorder="0" scrolling="no" width="500" height="500"></iframe>
just change the user_id (27039180@N00) to your one (it's in the little bit of code you get for putting a Flickr Badge on ya blog or site) then change the group_id (humans) to one of ya groups, easy.

Hover the mouse over the top and you get some controls, hover over the bottom and you get a pic selector, click on a pic and... well just see (: i found you can't have 2 Flickr things on the same page (why it's not on me blog). </geek>

fancy a stint in prison #

then pop over here and get the code for this:


Heard the Word of Blog?

check here for more info. blogs rule (: