fear of (a) average mind

you are human, no thing you do is wrong

Suicide Note #

Your father gives it to your fucking mother and without your permission you are born.
Thank you oh father, thank you oh mother for my flesh, it burns in the day and reeks of death in the night.
It poisons the mind it has within it
No sooner was i spawned from the cunt then i begin to rot
your formed in fathers’ milk through mothers hole

Born of father dead onto mother skin’ into the world of teaming death. Babies cry at birth because they realise they are human. you will have to live with fuckin’ humans till the day death releases you from the prison of no guts to commit suicide. you function perfectly human from then on, wanting and killing.

Getting from 1 point to another is what we do and with that doing something always has to die. There is always a factory spewing out shit that kills the fish in the river, always a new product that needs to be poured into the eyes of a life that was born of a mother. But fuck it, it’s only a fish, it’s only a rat, it’s only a life that went through the shear white hell of birth into a existence of danger and fright only to be killed so that a fucking bit of plastic you own can be red. Look at any item around you now and think of it’s manufacturing process and you will find along the way a life was consumed so that item can be in your presence. Every single item you own a life has been taken so you can ‘own’ it. our whole culture is based on death. you are born and from then on in billions upon billions of lives are consumed so that you can get from birth to death.

i paint the side of a house belonging to gay humans with a friend and he tells me of how the Spanish persecuted the American Indians yet all the while he is painting ova spiders, he is showing them the true meaning of suffocation and he tells me of human upon human killing, has he no idea, Horrific. Now tell me of the innocent humans who will die in any human war. In the eyes of nature, 1 fly is worth a billion human lives.

The supposed innocent stare of a child, nobody can take the innocent stare of a child.
There are no innocent humans:
you deserve molesting as a child, raping as a pensioner and in between you deserve cancer.

you race into my eyes and i only want to kill you and for that i feel your system would want me dead and i can only know you for what i want to do to you, could that i ever want you in my life and i would than fuck it up.

I could manipulate you into stabbing your eyes out and then i could just walk away, i am a human, i can do whatever i want and so can your, if you want to stab your eyes out you can do that, if you don’t want to do that then don’t. never do what another human asks you to do, it wants your death.


Go on kill, molest, rape, torture, it’s all ok. There is no right and wrong, they are just human games we play with ourselves to make our bad thoughts all the better. Nature doesn’t care what you do so it’s ok. Nature has chosen you as the only creature who can find pleasure in the death of another life not your own. There is no innocent or guilty. you are put upon this earth to kill and eat the flesh of those who give you pleasure, Anything you want to do is ok. Other humans do it why can’t you ? there are no races, religions, classes, civilisations there is just fucking humans, your next victim, eat them,  kill them, mama them, rape them, they are just here for your pleasure.

Darwin had it wrong, its not all bout sex, its all bout death. Sex is just fear of species death. It’s all about death. If we didn’t have a sex drive our species would die in a minute. Its that fucking stupid survival instinct. I don’t want to fuck that female i just want the human species rule and go on forever.

When i was younger and i split up with my first G-friend i used to hate mornings. i would wake up happy enough at first then I’d remember we weren’t together and know i had a day of sadness to look forward to, now of course if a female isn’t sucking my dick, i have no use for her.
     Lately I’ve been feeling the same way, but i haven’t had i G-friend in years and i don’t miss any of them. i hate going to sleep, waking up and eating. These things mean i am alive and they maintain it. Now when i wake up i know I’v got another fucking day of life, listing to the fucking human upon human shit over and over.
     I think having never know it, i miss death, i am sad we are split up. I’m just so fuckin bored. They all just do the same thing, say the same stuff. I hate being a part of it.
     Every night at 7:00 my watch alarm sounds. I’ve set it like that to remind me to look around and see if i can see Anything beautiful in humanity, i never have. It has been set that way for about 7 years now as i write this, that’s over however many times and i still have never seen Anything worth hanging around for.

     Oh and please believe me my definition of beauty isn’t little fluffy kittens or people who do a lot for charity, no i have seen beauty in the way the Nazis tried to wipe out the Jews, in the way GAP exploit their workers in foreign lands, reducing their lives to prostitution, drugs and death. 1 of my favourite words is ‘subservience’. Its just that nature couldn’t give a shit bout life so why should i?
It’s getting very bad to be me

i wish sometimes the Asian shopkeeper who i buy my wine from every day would 1 day tell me to stop drinking so much wine, but he never will. He just sells me death a little more every day, till 1 day i cum in for my wine no more.

There comes a point in your life when you realise the only way you are going to have sex again is through rape.